Dear Hopefuls,
It is Christmas. There are decorations, lights, gifts, expectant children, bio and chosen family, parties, gatherings and meals, all twirling together in a mix of joy, stress, busyness, quiet, connection, loneliness, beauty and sadness.
Following fast on Christmas’s sled tracks is New Years and the bittersweet recognition that another year has passed that we will not see again. Along with this is the sense of beginnings, fresh starts and hope for something new that the turning of calendar’s page can bring.
Christmas and New Years can be a minefield for betrayed partners navigating the contradictory emotions – hope/despair, joy/grief, connection/loneliness, beauty/destruction – that all partners experience in the aftermath of betrayal but that are significantly heighted by the crucible of the holidays.
My Christmas and New Year’s wish for you is that you will take some time over the next week to sit with a cozy blanket and a mug of something warm and reflect on the poem below by Mary Oliver. As you turn your attention to the new year in front of you, I hope that you will know deep within your heart how precious you are and that you are worthy of time, attention, support and whatever else you need to help you move through the devastation of betrayal so that you can flourish once again.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Michelle
| THE JOURNEY One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life you could save. Mary Oliver, Dream Work, 1986 |
About the Author:
Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She’s also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created a new treatment model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
Braving Hope™ is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Working with Michelle will help you to move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life.
