One of the most significant issues that betrayed partners wrestle with is the lying that always accompanies cheating. The lying is often more painful and harder to recover from than the cheating itself. Even more challenging, the lying often seems even harder for the cheater to stop engaging in than quitting the sexual behaviors.
This month’s book love focuses on two resources that address the issues around chronic dishonesty and the challenge of rebuilding trust. One resource is for those of you early on in the process of dealing with the lying and the second is for those of you who are further along on the journey and are working on rebuilding trust either with yourself or with both yourself and your partner.
The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook: Healing from Emotional Abuse by Anna Marlow-MaCoy
The concept of gaslighting has entered our public consciousness in a new way over the past several years. While the word is used frequently, its meaning, and insidious impact are not well understood. The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook explains the method and impact of gaslighting and takes readers through an experiential three-phase process designed to help them de-program and heal from the effects of being gaslighted.
This workbook will be helpful for you if you are in the early phases of dealing with the chronic lying that accompanies cheating and are trying to work through how gaslighting has impacted you and how to not fall prey to it within your relationship.
Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy by David Richo
If you are at the point in your healing from betrayal that you are wanting to really think deeply and work on how to rebuild trust in your relationship and with yourself, this is a great book for you. The author provides a thoughtful definition of trust and looks at the key building blocks that must be in place for trust to be possible and sustainable. Read this one alone or with your partner as a conversation starter.