One of my favorite moments as a therapist is when new clients come into my office and tell me their story. As I listen, I begin to see in my mind’s eye the ways in which their lives will change, the freedom they will encounter, how much better their relationships will be, and how comfortable they will feel in their own skin if they enter fully into the transformation process. I start to glimpse a vision of what is possible for them, and that is an exciting and hopeful image.
The clients, however, are usually having a very different experience. They are entirely focused on the crisis or problem that has brought them to my office. For them, there is no vision and very little hope, as they are mired in their troubles and struggling without success to find a way out. For those dealing with betrayal trauma, the shock, pain, and anger tend to overwhelm everything else, making even the possibility of hope seem doubtful and unlikely.
Nevertheless, what I and many others know is that there is an enormous amount of hope for betrayed partners. Hope for them. Hope for their partner. Hope for their relationship. Sometimes not all three, but always at a minimum the first one.
This hope is not just a Hail Mary, either. It is grounded in the fact that there is a process available for healing from betrayal. There are steps and tasks and tools and information to guide them from the initial chaos and devastation of betrayal to a place where they are actually…dare I say it…flourishing.
At PartnerHope, we have delineated six phases in this journey, breaking the process of healing from betrayal trauma into key steps and providing you with hope for each stage of the process. These phases are: devastation, realization, stabilization, re-imagining, creating, and flourishing. We call this the Braving Hope™ Process.
Braving hope is being willing to risk after failure, disappointment or heartbreak. It is being willing to embrace optimism and look for the good even after experiencing difficult challenges. Braving hope taps into the part of you that is resilient and willing to continue believing and trying even though you’ve encountered setbacks and hurdles. Braving hope means allowing yourself to continue to operate out of hope even when it feels risky and vulnerable to do so. That is why it is called braving hope. It takes courage and resiliency to do it.
To bring this process to life, I’ve created a 12-week coaching program to support you as you walk through the six phases of betrayal trauma recovery.
If you would like to see if this program is a good fit for you, schedule a free call with our team. We will spend 45 minutes on the phone helping you get clarity about where you are right now, where the sticking points may be and how to move forward in your healing process.
About the Author:
Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She’s also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created a new treatment model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
Braving Hope™ is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Working with Michelle will help you to move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life.
